How I read the paper

On average, here is how I read the St. Paul Pioneer Press.

1. First I read the headlines on the front cover.
2. I then move to the Sports Page and read Charlie Walters and Tom Powers (if they are writing).
3. Then I move to the business section where I read Ed Lotterman on Thursday and Sundays.
   
4. The Dakota County section is next, where I flip to the back page and see if any opinions are of interest to me. If it's Wednesday or Sunday, I read Joe Soucheray 's column.
   
5. Daily Life is next. Here I look for book reviews and cartoons.
6. I return to the front page and see if there are any articles of interest.
7. Lastly, I place the tattered mess next to the fireplace and wait for my wife to share her feelings on my inability to keep the house in order.