Monday, February 09, 2009

The Mormon Church

Here is my abbreviated version of how the Mormon Church was started.

The failed 1800's scryer (a person who has magic powers to see into solid mediums such as rock), Joseph Smith took his box of "peep rocks," poured them in a black cap, stuck his head into the cap, stared at the ground and found the "plates of gold" buried on a hill in Western New York.

After finding the plates of gold, Mr. Smith took his favorite peep rock, put it in the same black cap, stuck his head into the cap and translated the plates of gold into a book called the Book of Mormons.

The plates of gold story regarded a fight between the Lamanites and Nephites, who were descendants from the Middle East. The Lamanites destroyed the Nephites. The Lamanites are today's Native Americans while the Nephites are today's Mormons. Scientists have never found the slightest bit of evidence linking Native Americans to Middle Eastern tribes.

Mormonism is one of the fastest growing religions in the United States. And all this time I thought Darwin was right.

UPDATE: My father reminded me that my sect of Christianity wrote that Moses parted the Red Sea. To his point, I believe there is value and learning in fiction. And I don't mean to offend others who share this belief.


Anonymous said...

Don't forget the part where God told Smith or one of those founders that he should take 13-year old girls as 'wives.' I don't believe that's still part of the main religion, just the fundy part.


Tryor said...

I assume that your observations are meant to be humorous, because they are totally misleading. You obviously have not studied the life of Joseph Smith, or you would have formed an entirely different opinion.
First of all, there is ample geological evidence of the mid-eastern influence among the American Indians of the plains and of NE America, including recently discovered DNA evidence. This is documented in a DVD entitled, "DNA Evidence for the Book of Mormon Geography," published in 2008 by Rod Meldrum.
In addition, computer analysis of the Book of Mormon has demonstrated that it was not a product of the 19th century (the 1800's), but was in fact written by as many as 20 different authors, just as it purports to be. Stylometry has also proven that Joseph Smith could not have written the Book. As to your references about Joseph's marriage of 13 year old girl's, I can only say that the concept of Celestial Marriage did not necessarily include sex. There is no proof that any of these marriages resulted in anything more than a "sealing" in the hereafter.
The more you study the life of Joseph Smith, the more you will become convinced that there is more here than what you will be urged to believe in rumor mills.

Scooter said...

Ah, sealing. In case you're not sure of that one, Mac. You can read about it on my site. Lots of Mormons in my family tree.

David said...

This is an interesting read

Richard Dawkins letter to his 10 year old daughter

Mac Noland said...

Tryor, my knowledge of the Mormon religion comes from the first 150 pages of Krakauer's book "Under the Banner of Heaven." So, no I don't consider myself an expert and yes, the posting was meant to be humorous.

This being said, you can infer that I'm of the belief Smith's writings were fiction. However, you can see that I'm a believer that fiction does have value and in fact my very own religion has a number of fictional stories which realists, as I consider myself, understand as being so.

Per your comment on spiritual wifery; again, my knowledge of this comes from Krakauer's writings. He does seem to make a convincing argument that Smith was both a proponent and practicing polygamous and had 40+ wives, some as young as 13 or 14. Which if true, his morals should be in question.