Tuesday, August 07, 2007

A baby’s life. How I miss it.

Here is my son’s day-to-day activities. He gets out of bed around six thirty. Scratch that, he gets helped out of bed at six thirty. Next he not only gets his cloths picked out, but two helpful servants dress him. After that, he gets to breast feed from a woman I find irresistibly attractive. If he burps or farts during this time, he’s commended, not reprimanded.

Once he’s done eating, he takes nap. Meanwhile he’s encouraged to wet and dirty himself. If both are done correctly, he’s praised “Oh such a good boy! Just look at you.” This activity actually provides entertainment for both dad and son. Dad gets a giggle at how much excretion a young boy can produce.

After he’s done napping, he’s back to the breasts of that beautiful woman. Once more, burping and farting are signs of achievement. Then he gets bathed and changed for the afternoon.

With him centered in the middle of the floor, he spends the next two hours watching two parents dance and make faces at him. Oh how he wishes the video camera was on them. It would make great entertainment for their friends and family.

If he ever wants to get attention, all he does as whimper. Mom and dad fight over who gets to pick him up first. Mom wins.

The cycle is repeated twice more during the next sixteen hours. Again, such is a baby’s life. How I miss it.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hi Mac, I remember when you were the center of all the attention. You had your time and now you are on the other side of the fence.

Your writing is very descriptive, full of human interest and encourages your readers to return.